we're going to buy a house

in 2020! Oy vey! Our house is falling apart, our landlord is a shit (pardon my french but its true), and of course we fantasise about buying a house. The problem is all the houses in Jerusalem, or really in Israel, cost a million trillion shekels. Or at least a million if not more. So I called the bank, to ask them how much we would need to pay as a deposit. Short answer - 30%. 30%! that is a lot of shekels if you ask me. That is 300 000 if we buy a million shekel house, which I don't know about you, but I aint seen so many million shekel houses lying around. Of course you can buy a million shekel house if you want. It will just be a tiny flat without a garden (sorry Shaka, we had to get rid of you so we could buy a house), or it will be in the West Bank somewhere close to Ramallah or Jordan - great. Or in the Negev somewhere, and methinks the commute might be killer. Of course if one buys a house in the back of beyond it's all very well, but then you need two cars - at least 2000 or maybe 3000 extra shekels needed a month for a car. So you may as well buy the 1.5 million shekel house, but the problem is you don't have the 420 000 shekels (that is 108000 dollars, or 1.07 million rand), lying around, so of course you buy in the back of beyond and buy another car, because it will take you another ten trillion years to save up the deposit for the 1.5 million shekel house. This is of course if the bank values the house the same as the seller does - unlikely, as the seller thinks his hovel is a pretty palace worth at least 200000 shekels more than it really is. Which is fine but then the bank will only give you a mortgage for how much it values the house at - leaving you in the dwang for at least another 100000 shekels or maybe more. Which of course you have lying around (next to your diamond earrings and Porsche) and can easily pay.

right that is my rant for the day, fueled by coffee and vitamin pills cos I am ill and snotty and dreaming of houses. If anyone has a lot of money lying around please send it our way. Apart from not having a trillion shekels, we are fine, just dealing with never ending laundry, a house built on an Indian burial ground with very angry spirits (everything keeps breaking), a crazy neighbour, a baby who thinks it is cute to wake up a lot at night (wrong Davy - not cute! not cute at all!), some illness (two colds in two weeks), and not enough hours in the day. Young Davy is indeed very cute though, which is good cos otherwise with his latest dreadful sleep habits we might consider giving him away. He can sit unsupported for about 10 seconds then he pitches over and giggles mightily which is very cute. He also rubs his eyes with his hands when he wakes up, which is too adorable, and also stretches and emits the biggest yawn once he is done eating in the morning - very cute. He has also taken to trying to blow spit bubbles with very funny sound effects. All in all he is a very cute kid right now.